To United Airlines, this is simple. If you are big enough to have your own gravitational pull, if elements rotate around you all day long like the moon around the earth, or the earth around the sun, then you will more than likely take up two seats on a plane, albeit almost, then, according to them you should pay for two seats on a flight. Right? Obsurd? Possibly? Well.

On April 15th 2009, United Airlines implemented a policy for passengers requiring extra space in which they declared that beginning Wednesday April 15th, people who fit the following criteria are subject to the following conditions;

If you are unable to fit into a single seat in the ticketed cabin or unable to properly buckle the seat belt using a single seat belt extender or unable to put the seat’s armrests down when seated you will be asked to purchase an additional seat or leave the plane. Also, if no extra seats are available for you to purchase in your cabin / class of seat, you must upgrade to a cabin with available seats, failing that you be have to change to the next available flight and purchase a second seat before boarding. If no seats on additional flights are available, United will refund your entire fee. Gee, thanks!

Peter Griffin is so large he has his own gravational pull.

A United Airlines statement indicated that “this new policy was created for the comfort and well-being of all our guests onboard, and is in response to the 700 complaints received last year from customers who did not have a comfortable flight because the person next to them infringed on their seat.”

Have you ever been on a flight where a larger person has ‘spilled’ over into your seat? I have. They were sitting on my right hand side on a flight from Dublin to Boston. I had to practically wrap my right arm around myself as I couldn’t place it on my arm rest or even rest it by my side. It was the most uncomfortable 7 hour situation on board a flight I have ever had! The person was not overweight. I am overweight. They were oversized.

I was discussing this policy with many people recently and although there is some reservation about it; people not wanting to hurt other people, or people showing respect for fellow peers etc., there was a consensus that if you weight over 500lbs like Peter Griffin of Homer Simpson then something extra should be paid. If people like me have to pay extra for baggage allowance, usually we are allowed 30lbs as check in luggage and anything over that costs $$$, should people over a certain weight have to pay extra as Southwest and United’s policies dictate?

Celebrity Homer Simpson has to pay extra now too.

“Please understand that we care a great deal about all of our customers’ well-being, and we have implemented this policy to help ensure that everyone’s travel experiences with United are comfortable and pleasant,” United said on its Web site.

Should people who are not proportionate in weight to their own height, age and sex, have to pay extra? This is not that ethical, I agree, but in times where economic purses are tightening,  isn’t this a logical step? Southwest have had this policy in place for quite some time already. Where or when do we stop? Do we then extend this to pregnant mothers? Siamese Twins? Do people with very long legs automatically get charged for taking up more space too? It’s an interesting debate.

Comments are welcome.

Do not read if you offended by strong language and profanities.

ESPN football (soccer) coverage sucks for one reason, that reason is their commentator Tommy Smyth or as I like to call him, Tommy ‘Bloody Fucking Egit’  Smyth. This guy is the king of wankers, the grand master of assholes and the crème de la crème of idiots. He should have wiener written all over his fucking forehead. He is completely biased towards Manchester United and even when commentating on their games he is still a fucking prick! He gets so many things wrong, showing his obsurd lack of knowledge of the game. He needs to shut the hell up!

Tommy Smyth-Wanker

An example of his stupidity came during the Champions League campaign of 2006/2007. His persistence on calling AC Milan goalkeeper Gida instead of his actual name Dida throughout the campaign just typifies his ignorance. He is a fucking thick stupid hairless absolute blind dyslexic fuckhead of a hand-job giving retarded bollax!!! Everyone in the fucking universe knows it and so does ESPN. He has even gotten death threats which I won’t comment on here. Thank God ESPN has lost the rights to the UEFA Champions League here in the USA from next season (2009/10) meaning we will never have to hear him commentating again past this season. Did I mention that he is a fucking degenerate half wit!! He gives the most slanted commentary in the history of the game. He is widely believed to be the most hated commentator in sport across the globe. I can’t even fathom why ESPN would keep renewing his contract when there is clearly so much hatred for him and his onion bag antics across the world. He is a disgrace to Irish people, the Irish nation and if I had my way, he’d be sent to live on some uninhabited island in the middle of the sea some place.

Tommy Smyth is a big fucking wanker! An Absolute Wanker!! I hate him.

The Guardian wrote an article on April 15 2009 less full of profanities than mine but it definitely has the same tone. There is even an entire website, No More Onion Bag devoted to getting rid of Tommy Smyth once and for all and a Facebook group you can join to show support for getting this guy off the air.

The End.

Packie Bonner v Romania, Italia 1990

or Alan McLoughlin’s equalizer against Northern Ireland in 1993 that sent Ireland to USA 94 or when Ray Houghton’s left footed volley-come-lob against Italy at the Giants Stadium, New York in 1994 sent the country crazy, or when Robbie Keane’s late late LATE equaliser against Germany 2002, which made Mick McCarthy do impressions of Michael Flatley, has there been so much hope and quiet confidence associated with the Ireland football team.

Ireland have to believe that they have a real chance to qualify for the tournament which is just 14 months away. In Giovanni Trapattoni, the 70 year old Italian who carries the nation on his shoulders, Ireland have a coach who has managed some of Europe’s best teams; AC Milan, Juventus,  Bayern Munich (all twice), Inter Milan, Cagliari, Fiorentina, Benfica, Stuttgart and Red Bull Salzburg and he is well capable of succeeding at this this challenge. He has made many changes to the squad and how they approach games. Teams are far less likely to score against us now as he has brought that steely defensive mentality that proved so successful for AC Milan 20 years ago to the Irish team.

We are wanting in midfield and if he could convince one of the young players of the year in the English Premiere League (EPL) to come out of international retirement,

Ray Houghton sends a nation crazy

Steven Ireland could prove to be the difference between the group stages or the knockout rounds in South Africa. In Stephen Ireland we have one of the youngest brightest stars in the EPL, he’s 22 years old, and if Trapattoni can work something out with the young lad, it can only benefit the Irish team. With Steven Reid, Damien Duff, Steven Ireland, Aiden McGeady, Robbie Keane and not forgetting the sometimes undervalued and under-rated Kevin Doyle, Ireland have a front 6 there that can cause any team problems. McGeady is one of the best wingers in the game, Duff no doubt has talent but needs to stay, or rather get, fit and hopefully Doyle can sign for a Premiere League outfit sooner rather than later. Then we also have the likes of John O’Shea, Richard Dunne and Shay Given. The latter single handedly kept Newcastle off the bottom on the EPL and since his move to Man City in January has continued to rival Pepe Riena and Edwin Van Der Sar for the accolades of the league’s best keeper.

The Republic of Ireland may be upset by the manner of the draw with Bulgaria but lets not forget, that most of the media believed we would finish second to Italy and qualify for South Africa 2010 via the playoffs. Beat or draw with Italy today and then beat or draw with them in Dublin later in the year and Ireland could well indeed top the group. I don’t think we’ll do it without Steven Ireland so hopefully someone out there can have a word with him. Trapattoni also needs to work out whatever issues he has with Andy Reid and include him in the squad.

So to toady then. Ireland take on Italy for what promises to be, if history is anything to go by, nothing short of epic. Ireland were the surprise package at Italia 90 and it was Italy who knocked us out in the quarter finals. Role on 4 years and well, a Roberto Baggio headed Italy were beaten by a marvelous Irish performance that day, be it a very cheeky goal some might say, but it was marvelous on Houghton’s part.

We lock horns again today. Ireland, as usual, the underdog. This is arguably the biggest tie of the mid-week world cup fixtures and if Ireland can pull off a surprise win, we will lead the group by 1 point.  Oh this is the stuff dreams are made of. Who would count against us? Italy haven’t. They aren’t even playing the game in Rome. The moved the tie to Bari where the atmosphere in the stadium is said to be even more intense and intimidating than anything Rome or Milan can muster up.

Italy’s manager, Marcelo Lippi has warned his Italian side not to take Ireland lightly. When asked about Ireland’s style of play Lippi replied, “They don’t play like Brazil, they play like Italy. They are hard to beat and they have some individuals who can hurt you. We have to be on our guard. But it’s a great game to be involved in and we look forward to it.”

History has proved that Ireland perform very well as underdogs, let us all hope that tonight’s game ends with a very positive result for the men in green. Come on Ireland!!

Elton John, Venice 2001

So this is a picture of me during the summer of 2001. I was back-packing around Europe at the time. I had met the 3 girls in this photo on a train from Paris to Brussels, I latched onto them (or they took me in) and formed a great, be it, temporary friendship. We spent about 3 weeks travelling together around Belgium, Holland and Italy before we went our seperate ways, I went on to Switzerland they went on to Greece.

Anyway, this photo was taking on a Sunday evening in Venice. The four of us decided to sit outside our hostel along one of Venice’s main canals and enjoy the sun with some Champagne, Sambuca and beer, (notice the bottle of Champagne in my hand).

Long story short, Elton John walks by and Maria, the girl in the back with the head band, was first to notice him. She whispered to me “Elton John just walked by us.” Of course I thought she was having me on, but then she took off like a grey hound after him. Elton later told us that he thought Maria was going to mug him. Ha. That always makes me laugh. So, we got our picture with Elton. Myself, Maria, Barbara and Claire, enjoying a blissful and gorgeous evening in Venice during the summer of 2001. (I haven’t seen the girls since but keep in touch with Maria via Facebook!)

Ingredients

Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 knob of butter
1 red onion, peeled and chopped
Fresh sage leaves-about half a cup
2lb stewing beef skirt, 1+1/2 inch pieces
White flour to dust beef
1 medium turnip, peeled and cut into 1 inch chunks
6 carrots, peeled and chopped

2 parsnips (I don’t use these when my Dad is coming for dinner-they give him headaches for some reason so I use Turnip instead. Egg Plant would work too)
½ a butternut squash, deseeded and roughly diced
1lb small potatoes, can be baby potatoes or other types. Make sure they are about 1 inch big approx.
1 tin of tomato purée, 6 ounces approx
½ a bottle of red wine or 1 can of a good stout like Guinness
½ pint beef or vegetable stock
Zest of 1 lemon, finely grated
A handful of rosemary-about half a cup
1 clove of garlic, peeled and finely chopped

Salt and Pepper

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 160ºC/300ºF/gas 2.
2. Put a little oil and your knob of butter into an appropriately sized pot or casserole pan. Add your onion and all the sage leaves and fry for 3 or 4 minutes.
3. Toss the meat in a little seasoned flour, then add it to the pan with all the vegetables (do not sear the meat first. Trust me!), the tomato purée, wine or Guinness (not both) and stock, and gently stir together. Season generously with freshly ground black pepper and just a little salt.
4. Bring to the boil, place a lid on top, then cook in the preheated oven until the meat is tender. Sometimes this takes 3 hours, sometimes 4 – it depends on what cut of meat you’re using and how fresh it is. The only way to test is to mash up a piece of meat and if it falls apart easily it’s ready.

Once it’s cooked, you can turn the oven down to about 110°C/225°F/gas ¼ and just hold it there until you’re ready to eat.

The best way to serve this is by ladling big spoonfuls into bowls, accompanied by a glass of French red wine and some really fresh, warmed bread.

This is important and really makes the stew. Mix the lemon zest, chopped rosemary and garlic together and sprinkle over the stew before serving / eating. Just the smallest amount will make a world of difference – as soon as it hits the hot stew it will release an amazing fragrance.

Ingredients

1 whole stick of fresh lemongrass

1 Tablespoon minced Garlic

1 teaspoon of fresh ginger

1 lb of turkey breast cutlets (usually this is 4 cutlets)

8 ounces of Raspberry vinaigrette (Raspberry Pecan also works so well) (this is basically a salad dressing that you buy in the story)

1 Tupperware tub big enough to hold everything

Salt to season

1 Fresh pineapple cut into rings. Canned variety is fine too.

1 can of Shelled candied pecans.

Mixed salad greens

A punnet of Raspberries, diced / sliced ripe pear

Red wine vinegar

Directions

1.      To make the marinade:

a.       Chop lemongrass very fine. In a Tupperware container add the turkey, chopped lemongrass, ginger, garlic, and Raspberry vinaigrette. Cover every part of the turkey.

2.      Leave to marinate for at least 2 hours. (Overnight is best)

3.      The turkey will be bright pink, it’s visually awesome!

4.      Broil or BBQ turkey breast until cooked making sure to not dry out the turkey or to burn it. Cooking time depends on how hot your BBQ is.  (BBQ over wood, not coal, for best flavor). but it should be about 4 minutes each side.

5.      For the final two minutes of cooking, add pineapple slices to BBQ, cooking for 30 seconds to 1 minute on each side, or until they begin to lightly golden. They will candy up just great! (Is that even a sentence?!)

6.      Try it with a green salad (mixed with pecans, pears and raspberries and dressed with red wine vinegar placed on the side.)

7.      A nice chilled glass of white wine goes so well with this dish! So does a bottle!

8.      It will be the tastiest turkey you have ever had! I promise!

Cooking time for this varies… minimum of 1 hour but if you can leave it simmer on the lowest heat for 6 hours you will discover that this gets more delicious with time. As the days role by, the second day and then the third and then the fourth it’s just… MMMmmm…… DeeeRicious!!! For some curious reason, I have found from cooking SO many curry dishes, that if you let them cool completely and then heat them up again before serving, they taste a million times better. So if you want to serve this on a Thursday, cook it on a Wednesday and let it cool and put it in the fridge over night. Trust me, its orgasmic curry at its devine best!

Serves (6-8), with Brown Basmati Rice.

Ingredients

1 Teaspoon each of: Cumin, Curry, Madras powder, Thai Red Curry paste

½ Tablespoon minced garlic

1 finely chopped onion

1 Chopped yellow pepper (optional-I just added it because it was in the fridge)

2 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1½ lb of Chicken (breasts are perfect), chopped into 1 inch chunks

1 cup of low sodium, no fat chicken broth.

28 ounce fire roasted tomatoes

20 ounce Pineapple chunks and its juice

18 ounce Garbanzo beans (the canned variety)

10+¾ ounce can of condensed mushroom soup (chicken would work too, as would other soups-I just love mushroom)

Salt to season, and Garlic Powder (if you want extra deliciousness-YUMMY)

Directions

1.      Add a little oil to a large skillet or pan. Place in onion for one minute and then the garlic. Let them sweat for a few minutes. Then add the red curry paste and the other spices. Let them work their aromatic magic on your nose-add the cup of water.

2.      When the mixture heats up again, add the chicken. Coat it in the marinade and let each of the chicken seal (turn white not brown). This takes about 15 minutes on a medium heat.

3.      Add pineapple and the juice from the can, the tomatoes and the beans. Let it cook for about an hour on medium heat.

4.      After an hour or so add the condensed mushroom soup straight from the can. Do not mix with water as there is enough juice (water) in the cooking dish already.

5.      Make sure you slowly but thoroughly mix the soup into the dish.

6.      Simmer on low heat for another 2-4 hours. This will make it so delicious! It’s all in the simmering!!

7.      When you can’t stand waiting anymore, serve it with your favorite rice and beverage. Using brown rice will make this even healthier that it already is.

8.      This is perfect for a cold winter night and is definitely a comfort food but healthy and nutritious and did I mean scrumptious too! Yummy!!

Ingredients for the Cake:

Strawberry Cake

1 tablespoon vanilla

3 cups flour

1 package (3 ounces) strawberry-flavored gelatin powder

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 cup butter or margarine

2 cups sugar

½ cup of powdered sugar

3 eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup milk

2 cups of puréed fresh strawberries

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease the bottoms of the 2 two 9″ diameters round cake tins and sprinkle with flour.
Sift flour before measuring. Add baking powder, salt and gelatin-powder and sift again. Beat butter until creamy, gradually adding 2/3^rd’s of the sugar. Add the eggs one by one and beat well after each addition. Add the milk with vanilla (here the mixture will seem to curdle but it will come together when adding the dry ingredients). Fold in the flour mixture and pour equal amounts into both tins. Make a dip in the center of the mixture so that it does not rise when baking. Bake for 30 minutes approx or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Let them cool. Add remaining sugar to the puréed fresh strawberries and mix. Then with the end of a wooden spoon, make vertical holes in the cake, about 2/3^rd‘s of an inch from the edge and about 1 inch apart from other holes. Then pour the strawberry and sugar mixture into the holes. Fill each hole. Then let them set for 10-15 minutes. Fill any gaps in the holes with the remaining mixture. Put in the fridge to set for at least 3 hours.

For the icing:

Ingredients:

8 ounces cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup butter, softened

Strawberry Cake

3 1/2 cups powdered sugar

3/4 cup fresh strawberry, mashed (with juice)

1-3 tablespoon milk

Directions:

To prepare icing, combine cream cheese and butter on low speed I na mixer for 30 seconds and then gradually mix in the sugar. Mix in mashed strawberries. Raise speed to medium and continue to mix until light and well-combined adding milk to achieve desired consistency. Fold in pecans if required.

Put a small amount of frosting between each of the 2 layers of cake, then pour the remaining frosting over the top and allow it to run down sides of cake using a spatula to smooth it over.

Garnish cake with strawberries (completely cover it).

Serve freshly frosted or refrigerated with some strawberry or vanilla ice cream.

Fajitas are a fun meal – just set out the ingredients and let everyone make their own.

Instructions

In a medium-size glass bowl, combine garlic, red pepper flakes, chili powder, lime juice, salt and pepper; add chicken to bowl and stir well to coat. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.

Meanwhile, to make salsa, in a medium bowl, combine tomatoes, scallions, jalapeno, red pepper flakes, lime juice, salt and pepper. Set aside to allow flavors to blend.

Coat a large, heavy-bottomed nonstick skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium-high heat for 30 seconds. Add onion and peppers, and cook, stirring frequently, until tender, about 5 minutes; spoon vegetables into a small serving bowl and cover to keep warm.

Add oil to same skillet; heat over medium-high heat. Add chicken and any marinade remaining in bowl, but discard garlic (juices will sizzle so be careful of splattering liquid). Cook chicken until well-browned on bottom, about 3 minutes; flip chicken and cook until browned on second side, about 3 minutes more. If chicken is not cooked through, reduce heat to low and cook an additional 2 or 3 minutes.

To serve, place 3 ounces of chicken strips on each tortilla; top with about 1/2 cup of vegetables and 1/2 cup of salsa. Yields 1 fajita per serving.

Smokey Chicken Curry

This is a very spicy curry. Comfort food at its spicy best!!

Ingredients

1/2 Teaspoon each of: Cumin, Curry powder, cayenne pepper, chili powder, dried basil & tarragon, ground ginger

1 Tablespoon minced Garlic and minced ginger

2 Bay Leaves

7 Ounces Chipotle peppers in Adobe sauce

1 can coconut milk

3 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)

1 lb of Chicken breasts, chopped into 1 inch chunks

1 cup of water

Optional 1 lb of chopped bell pepper and onion

Optional lemon or orange zest for garnish

Optional Cilantro or fresh coriander for garnish

Directions

1.      To make the curry paste, in a large hot skillet, heat EVOO, then add garlic, ginger, and bay leaves. Fry for 2 minutes being careful not to burn anything.

2.      Add basil and tarragon, (Rub them between your palms to release the oils before cooking) followed by remaining spices. Stir in well.

3.      Add 1 cup of water when the paste gets condensed and keep on a high heat.

4.      Add chicken and cover in sauce. Cook for 5 minutes.

5.      Add the coconut milk. Mix Well under high heat. After 2 minutes, add the chipotle peppers. (take the peppers out after 20 minutes-once the smoky flavor has been absorbed in the dish-I find they are too hot  to eat as part of the dish)

6.      Cook a very low heat for a few hours to let all the flavors combine. The longer this cooks the tastier it gets. Sometimes I leave it cooking in a crock pot over night (for about 24hours in total) But, this dish can be consumed within 30 minutes.

7.      Serve with some nice non-spiced Basmati rice.

8.      Sometimes I add lemon or orange zest with fresh chopped cilantro right before serving.

9.      Sit back and enjoy with a mango lassie or milk.